Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
