I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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