If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
