I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
