I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
