I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
