I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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