I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize