Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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