omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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