I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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