Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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