They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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