I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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