have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i think i have herpe
just one?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
