ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
