Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
