Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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