So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
