then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dicks are not precious.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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