You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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