areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
