CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
