So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize