I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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