I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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