Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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