he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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