I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
