worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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