every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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