"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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