So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
