I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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