he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
