Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
