Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
