A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
