Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
