now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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