Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
