So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wish my penis had an off switch
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We're too hungover to prance.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
