Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we made out on top of his cat.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
