I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
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he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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