so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
