If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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