to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
