Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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