Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
