hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
