would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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