Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
