I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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