Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
