Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
