Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
