wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
