I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
