so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
