I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
